Book Review: A Heart from Hell

 

 

HERE IS THE LINK TO THE BOOK'S PAGE ON AMAZON.

 

BACK COVER BLURB

The impeccable priest. That's what his flock calls him. Father John is a gem of righteousness. So righteous that everyone adores and reveres him. 

So righteous that the Devil has a bet with God, as in Job's case, millennia ago. This time, the rules of the bet are the following: One of Satan's demons will take the form of an attractive woman and be sent to Earth to try to tempt Father John into breaking his lifelong virginity vow. Will the Reverend pass the test? 

Or, a better question is, who will end up being tested in the end? Can a demon really have a... change of heart? It sounds crazy, and yet... 

 

I know what most of you are gonna think after reading the back cover blurb above. Succubus! Right?

Well, not exactly. A succubus is female to begin with. In my story, demons are genderless. They can transform into humans, be it male or female, depending on the requirements of their respective missions (I hope the LGBTQ community will not accuse me of transphobia). Their true forms are those of gigantic, hideous monsters. And they stink like hell (no pun with their natural habitat intended!) In other respects, their voices are as pleasant as the sound of nails scratching a chalkboard and consonants are the dominant letters in their ludicrously and unnecessarily long names.

I don't know how much all the above is consistent with what the Bible says, but, hey, who cares? Anything for the sake of a good story!

Anyway, the story begins with Lucifer, the Lord of Hell, having called two of his subordinates. Satan's true form by the way is that of a huge eyelid, an idea that might or might not be inspired by Eclipsa's all seeing eye spell in the 'Star vs the Forces of Evil' animated show (I shall neither confirm nor deny this! 😉) 

The two demons he has called are Asthmonm and Ofpazcr (remember what I told you about demonic names earlier?) Those two are sent to Earth and transform into a young, married couple. Their mission is simple but hard: to tempt Father John into stopping giving a shit about his clerical, lifelong celibacy vow.

Speaking of whom, Father John, the impeccable priest, is enjoying a peaceful life, surrounded by people such as his loyal flock, his mentally demented father, his pal, Father Carl (a priest from a nearby parish), and Rebecca, a young woman who used to have a crush on Father John when she was little, though, by now, she has got over it (or has she?)

And so, Asthmonm and Ofpazcr, who, while in their human forms, go around introducing themselves as Alex and Karen respectively, approach and befriend the unsuspecting cleric. Karen is often lightly dressed when around the Reverend, for obvious reasons (stop drooling; I can see you!)

Things get further complicated, even more complicated than a demon could ever dare to imagine, when Karen (Ofpazcr) starts realizing that the aforementioned priest is making her feel things she didn't know existed. Or, if she knew, it was a long time ago, before the fall of her kind, about 7000 years ago according to the Bible's timeline (don't whine, evolutionists; it's just a story!) 

As Karen would say if she could break the fourth wall, 'When the heck did this exorcist like novel turn into a rom com?'

And while the drama above is unfolding, Louise and Andrew, two six year olds who are, so to speak, a couple, are carefreely skipping around, oblivious to the high stakes events that are taking place so close to them and too busy pulling all kinds of shenanigans. You wonder how come the parents of six year old children are cool with their offspring going out alone? I don't know, people! They just are. Okay? Can we now move on with our lives?

Nevertheless, past some point, I came to realize that the subplots about Louise are really stealing the spotlight. And I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about that. I mean, how are you supposed to feel when you begin writing a novel about a demon transforming into a woman to seduce a priest only to eventually realize that the best written character in your story is a six year old girl?

Well, you can answer that in the comment section below. 

In any case, till next time, don't forget to buy this novel, as well as my other novels (author page HERE), and advertise my blog/novels on social media.