LAST TIME, I taught you how to write a Disney movie. I guess that you followed my advice and, by now, you are filthily rich. If, however, you want to become even richer, here is a guide on how to write the next hit Japanese animated series.
1. Select a disgustingly overused and unoriginal theme which is a total cliche. Some good examples are: -School of magic. -Werewolves. -Vampires. -Card games threatening to unleash a force that will destroy the world. -Giant monsters that, for some reason, obey humans who make them battle one another because they are incels who have nothing better to do with their lives.
2. Have a group of teenagers practice the aforementioned theme in an otherwise normal, high school environment full of teenage drama. The aforementioned group must include at least one character from each of the following categories:
-Oblivious Gary Stu: The main character of the show. An arguably handsome boy. Always well mannered and, in a sense, in the clouds. All female characters of the show have a crush on him. Also, all female characters of the show, except the Robotic Bitch (see below), are ready to give it to him, anytime, anywhere. They keep sexually provoking him all the time, in any way they can. However, the Oblivious Gary Stu pays no attention to them, because he is too preoccupied with stuff such as love, friendship, his destiny, the fate of the world, in short, anything other than what any normal boy his age thinks about all the time: poon.
-Comic Relief Failure: The male best friend of the Oblivious Gary Stu. He is what his title says, a failure. His sole purpose in the show is to make the Oblivious Gary Stu look even more awesome by comparison. As opposed to his spotlight stealing friend, the Comic Relief Failure DOES want to sleep with all girls in the show. The thing is that he never gets any, for any female in the show would rather insert in her pussy a pneumatic drill than the dick of that loser.-Robotic Bitch: The Oblivious Gary Stu's love interest. Ironically, she is also the only female character in the show who is not willing to get laid with him (at least not before the final episodes and definitely not before an exasperatingly large number of episodes full of 'will they, won't they' shit.) The Robotic Bitch is characterized by total lack of anything even remotely resembling sympathy or compassion. She will get mad at the Oblivious Gary Stu at the drop of a hat, even about things that are obviously not his fault. Also, she constantly treats the Oblivious Gary Stu as a punching bag, abusing him in horrific ways. And yet, as a true gentleman, the Oblivious Gary Stu always accepts the beating without as much as an objection, even when he has no clue what he has done wrong.
- Overdeveloped Slut: A voluptuous girl with boobs one third the size of the rest of her body and the tendency to shove the head of the Oblivious Gary Stu between the aforementioned boobs without warning. The Robotic Bitch is super jealous when the Overdeveloped Slut is around, because she can sense the latter's intentions. And of course, she will unfairly take out her annoyance on the Oblivious Gary Stu, to his further anguish and the Overdeveloped Slut's amusement.
-Brainless Bimbo: A
preferably blonde girl with little to zero brains. Essentially, an
animated version of Cat Valentine. She is always drawn with her eyes
closed and a smile on her face, even when the villain of the show is
about to destroy the world and everyone else is like, 'OMG, we're gonna
die.' Generally, the Brainless Bimbo contributes nothing to the plot.
She is there just to give the pervs watching the show some extra
fanservice by doing stuff such as giggling like the idiot that she is,
constantly appearing lightly dressed etc
-Dispensable Friend:
The female besty of the Oblivious Gary Stu. Usually a childhood friend.
She is the polar opposite of the Robotic Bitch; always kind, considerate
and sympathetic. She is the one to console the Oblivious Gary Stu and
relieve his pain after every fit of rage the Robotic Bitch takes out on
him. She has always had a crush on him, however, when, after like a
bazillion episodes, she has finally mustered enough courage to tell him,
she realizes that the Oblivious Gary Stu is a masochist and has
feelings for the Robotic Bitch, so, with her eyes full of tears, she
wishes the two lovebirds happiness and leaves them alone.
-Sophisticated Loli: A preteen girl who is deliberately drawn in such a manner so that she causes male viewers to develop POCD. The Sophisticated Loli does nothing to sexually provoke perverted viewers, at least not intentionally; she provokes them merely by being there. Although she is really precocious and, therefore, fully aware of all ecchi situations going on around her, she will just shrug off everything and move on with her life, doing stuff normal preteen girls not interested in sex yet do. Usually, the Sophisticated Loli happens to be the little sister of the Oblivious Gary Stu, so that the viewers have an excuse to write incest fanservice fanfics. You're welcome, pervs!
3. Write a 30-60 second long song that will serve as the opening theme. No need for that song to actually have anything to do with the story. Just write something about abstract stuff, such as honor, friendship, justice etc and you're good. And, if you still find it hard to do so, you can use the lyrics below, which I just wrote on the spot and would go with any Japanese anime series that has ever existed or will ever exist:
Raindrops everywhere, the snowflakes of the truth are blazing in my heart,
Like a pack of angry wolves, my demons are attacking, well bring it on, because I will emerge,
In this quest for honor, glory and the mystery of life,
I shall face all of the challenges, OH, YEAH, LALALALALALA (guitar solo or something 😅)
And here you have it. You have just written the next successful anime series. See how much money you've made thanks to me?
Now, if you want to help me make some money too, go to my Amazon author page HERE and buy my novels.
Also, advertise my novels/blog posts on social media.
See you next time!
No comments:
Post a Comment